3 Feb, 2021

Going to bed with Alice

Yes, last night I slept with Alice.  The doctors believed she would help me, so we met yesterday morning.  Actually I slept rather well with her arms around me.  She stayed only one night.  Tonight she might be in someone else’s bed.  This must be one of the most creative services that the NHS provides.  Most enjoyable. 

Alice NightOne is a product from Philips Respironics. That’s another new word: respironics.  It has no place In the English language except in the Philips world. 

Alice is a number of cables that go round the chest, and airflow sensors that tape to the cheeks and are then inserted just inside the nostrils, and an SpO2 finger-clamp sensor measuring the pulse and the amount of oxygen in the blood, and a monitor/data gatherer that lies on the chest and records everything – except my dreams, I hope.  

It was the respiratory specialist at the National Hospital who recommended the one-night sleep study, really a precautionary exercise in case my breathing gets worse. Yesterday morning Alice arrived in a box.  Last night we got to know each other and then spent the night together.  This morning we said a sad farewell as she was collected and whisked away.  So it’s over.  A one-night stand.  

9 Comments

  1. You are very brave and very stoical! I couldn’t for one moment imagine getting any sleep at all, with wires and “bits” strung around my body and face! I would be having histrionics, as opposed to respironics!
    Hey ho!……. whatever helps you, go for it!

    Reply
  2. I agree with Meriel, but Alice does sound an amazing lady! Do hope your one night stand provides helpful information for the hospital.
    Could you tell us sometime, please, if your voice machine is proving useful and how you are using it? x

    Reply
  3. Ha, well done Dave!
    I very much doubt this would have made it into your Desert Island Discs, even if you’d met Alice 24 years ago rather than just a day ago for the night.. But still – this sprang to mind…
    Original crazy 1970s version – https://youtu.be/Z6qnRS36Eg
    And ruder version that I was thinking of – https://youtu.be/bUy83PKjkOI 😜

    Reply
  4. Chris good song, thanks for bringing it to our attention, as a bit before my time !
    Do we wonder, did Sally ever get a chance !?!

    Hope David you’ve been able to get out and about in the Park in your new chair for some fresh air before Winter returns.

    For more moves beyond Maggie’s techniques – can I suggest you checkout the stylish Philippe Cluzet in the hugely successful french film “ The Intouchables “ or the talented James McAvoy in “ Inside I’m Dancing.

    Reply
    • Ha, yes, before mine too! Somehow the Who the f*%# version entered my consciousness somewhere along the way.. Good point about Sally 🙂

      Reply
  5. ‘Les Intouchables’ is a great film! Worth watching for any reason. I’m going to look it up again and watch it tonight. Watch it, David, it will make you smile.

    Reply
  6. I don’t know, one night stands and other goings on. It’s all happening at Molyneux Street! Makes our lockdown sound positively parochial! Oh and the film Les Intouchables is one of my favourites.

    Reply

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